sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want. sometimes that is the best way it could have worked out. poor little you can't always know what is best for you. sometimes chance takes its turn in directing your life and it turns out the better for it.

no matter how hard i tried to fight against it, things just kept on going my way. an outcast? alone? poor social skills? yeah i suppose at different times but not always. things always seemed to work out. lack of negative peer pressure during the times that turn good kids bad was a benefit. small bouts of positive interactions with others sprinkled in between the loneliness to keep me going. enough loneliness to develop an outside view of society which led to a greater understanding. enough unhappiness that led to the studying of happiness and its achievement and maintenance. enough lack of opposite sex interaction that led to studying of relationship development and maintenance.

the things that went wrong always led to things that went right. it is true that we learn from mistakes. your down position will only serve to put you in an up position as the tides of life move in and out. don't look at the negative in your life as a slide to the pit of despair because it is really a ladder to the light. a "perfect" life does not lead to enlightenment. it takes a life full of hardship to appreciate the lessons that are to be learned.

i am on sabbatical so that means updates will be fewer than usual. there is an extensive archive incase you have not read it yet. i'll be back now and again though. i am in research mode so that is what i'll be busy with.

the ones who achieve "success" are the best at deluding themselves or best at staying ignorant. when faced with reality, a well-informed, rational person can not help but weigh the odds of success and to rationalize a lesser course as more suitable. the rational person will see the slim odds of success and not even bother at an attempt. it is the human that deludes himself into a world of fantasy, or ignorance, that takes the risks towards success.

from a different perspective, you can purposely use delusion to help yourself achieve goals you otherwise thought impossible. you can talk yourself into doing a lot of things and achieving more. start small to prove it to yourself and work your way up to the bigger things.

a female dominated society is the ideal society if we want to live in a world that is caring and less aggressive and less violent.

in the two main variety of chimpanzee, the "common" chimp has the male dominated society where as the "bonobo" variety has the female dominated one. the bonobo females form tight groups and dominate the males. the bonobo society is more sexual and less aggressive than the "common" chimp society. the male dominated "common" chimp society is aggressive and murderous and engages in more aggressive styles of sexual interaction.

elephant society is matriarchal. it is a very caring society. it looks after its members and will rescue them when in need. they are also communicative with one another. they mourn their dead as well.

for a caring and less aggressive and less violent society, we need human females in leadership roles. unfortunately, many female humans tend to act male when put in leadership roles. probably more accurately, is that they got to that position by following the male style in the male-dominated setting. the female style is about communication and working together and supporting one another. the male style is about competition and aggression and exploitation and pushing others out of your way on the way to the top. you can see these styles in the day-to-day interactions of males and females.

human females are not perfect though. they are easily exploitable by the human male. this is evolutionarily necessary or else there would be no mating and no babies and no more species. from an outside observers perspective, you can easily see the nonsense that males feed to females in order to entice them into mating. any rationally thinking human should be able to see right through the male ruse to mate but unfortunately for females, the ones that could see through this, died off having never left offspring because they never mated. only the females that were duped into really thinking that the male truly cared for them were the ones that mated and perpetuated the human species. the male is designed to mate at all costs and will gladly exploit female trust in order to do so.

this ease of exploitation has led female humans to be even more exploited by human males. for most of history, females have been relegated as second class citizens with fewer rights than males. they have also been led to believe they were mentally inferior. it is easy to see why this happened when you see a human female fawning all over a male that is speaking sweet nothings into her ear. the female is designed to accept this nonsense as truth and hold to as if the male actually could live up to it.

the answer then, is for human females to realize this vulnerability and plug it up like a hole in a dam. human males will try and exploit you. they try and exploit everyone they come in contact with and you are no exception. you must realize this and bring yourself to you senses whenever he opens his mouth. guard yourself and stay in tightly knit groups of other females. realize your worth and the worth of your female way of life to bring peace and harmony to violent and uncaring world.

short-term love is hormonal. long-term love is delusional. the nature of long-term love is delusion i.e. in order to maintain love we must delude ourselves. in order to maintain this delusion we must work at it.

short-term love is easy because your hormones do all the work. it makes you do all that you can for the other person and it makes you forgiving of the imperfect things they do. short-term love even makes the other person better-looking and more interesting than they really are. although the raising of a human baby is important, the having of the baby in the first place is even more important. this is why evolution made short-term love so controlled by your instincts and long-term love just an after-thought for you to figure out on your own. in most species, there is only short-term love. they are led by their hormones to mate and then the mother is left to take care of the aftermath. it is rare for a species to mate for life. some do but most don't.

evolution did not forget about long-term love but it did not put much effort into it either. there are definite benefits to long-term love. for one, the human babies get two providers instead of one. this means more protection and more care which would translate into a better chance at survival. in most other species, the females are the same size and have the same physical ability as the males. this is not the case in humans so it would be a logical conclusion that the larger human male is needed in the protection of the human female and her baby as well as for food procurement. also, human offspring take much longer to mature than other species. this forces the human mother to devote more time and effort into taking care of her baby. this also shows that a male partner would be advantageous.

from the perspective of the male and female humans, long-term love has some benefits as well. when we settle down into a long-term relationship we tend to relax and feel more complete. we do not groom ourselves as much and care less about our physical appearance because we no longer have the urge to compete for a mate. our need to mate becomes satiated. its even been shown that humans in long-term relationships live longer than those who aren't.

but here is the problem, once your hormones stop keeping you in love, you are on your own. there isn't much keeping you together anymore beyond habit and remembrance of the short-term, passionate love you once had. this is why long-term love is based solely on delusion. we have to brainwash ourselves into thinking that we care about this person our hormones drove us to. if we do not delude ourselves then we will leave at the next sign of short-term love we get with someone else. this means that you must work at long-term love because it does not come so naturally. instead of your hormones making you see your mate as better-looking and interesting, you must now do it on your own. in other words, you must delude yourself. there are benefits to long-term relationships so this may be something you want to do to maintain the relationship.

to the question:
"but what's the point of reproducing then?"

the answer:
the point of reproducing is to perpetuate your species. for the original organisms, being able to reproduce was a mutation like anything else. the ones that did not reproduce just died off. the ones that just happened to be able to reproduce passed on their genetic material to offspring. the ones that were the best at reproducing produced even more offspring. we are the end product of billions of years of reproduction refinement. we are good at reproducing because we have been designed and refined to be so. our design makes us want to reproduce and makes us enjoy reproducing. we reproduce because we are programmed to reproduce.