you people are retarded for complicating your life so much. stop worrying and start laughing. if i don't follow my own advice at times then i'm a retard too. get over yourself and all your petty problems. you're a sack of jelly held up by a structure of bone walking around on a hunk of rock that is hurtling through space around an enormous ball of fire. you don't want to be a part of a moronic society? then join the f'ing club. damn yo!

now guess what would happen if the world worked as it should... the way that you want it to. you'd still be a sack of jelly that walked around a hunk of rock that hurtles through space around a gigantic fire ball. you'd still wake up everyday and urinate and defecate and eat your breakfast. you'd still have freezing cold winter days and hot and humid summer nights. you'd still have your times of boredom and times of sadness. you'd still get angry. you'd still get your heart broken. this is what being human gets you. what do you think you are? you are not a friggin angelic creature... get over it. you were not meant for greatness of any sort. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN A CAT. it is not society or the world or anything like that that you should be angry at. it is being human that caused your predicament. you start human civilization from scratch and it will end up just like it is today. our evolution got us here.

if you want something better than what we've got then you have to suppress the natural instincts of all humans. this can be done but you'll need an awfully enlightened world population. just think how bad your ancestors had it and you'll see you are no worse off.

the problem is that you were taught to think you deserve something. you don't have anything coming to you beyond death. you were born to reproduce and then die. that's it. that is the grand scheme of it all. you were not meant to have a happy or even a pleasant existence. all that mattered is that you reproduce. you then die because your machinery only cares about keeping you alive long enough to reproduce. after that, you are on your own. that is why your body starts it's deterioration in your twenties. unfortunately you were told a fairy tale about what you should expect out of life. it wasn't true. the truth is reproduction and death. anything beyond that is a game of pretend.

just a note, if you don't have a sense of humor then develop one or else leave now and never return. i have learned to see the funny side of a lot of things and it is to my betterment and to the betterment of those around me. don't take things so seriously and chill out. you humans with no sense of humor ruin everyone's good time. you are the muther f'ers with the road rage, the f'ers that start conflicts and wars and fights in general. it has become obvious to me that a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence. animals and base humans have no sense of humor. the humans are not so intelligent will laugh now and again but it is at simple things and they will get very insulted and in fact very violent about things they don't find funny. think of it this way, the more you know, the more jokes you are in on and so the more you can laugh at. and in conclusion, stop taking things so seriously you retard.

i like movies where there is someone rebelling against "the system". i guess i must have some of that in me. although, i'm really not rebellious... it is just that this system is so retarded that i can't live by what it tells me. so basically i am rebelling by not engaging in it and not by actively going out to try and destroy it. but yes if it were in my power i would destroy it with such vengeance that not even a particle of dust would be found to prove its existence. (remember that punishing is ingrained in us. we like to punish.) but i still would rather live peacefully than as an active rebel.

one thing that would keep me from rebelling against the system is that who is there really to save? if everyone didn't like the system then couldn't we just collectively decide to change it? most people are satisfied enough that they don't give a hoot about changing anything. as the declaration of independence states "all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed." things are just not bad enough for the masses to inspire them to change anything. sure they are bad enough for me but i can't do anything against something backed by so much corruption and military might. and for all my troubles, the masses wouldn't even appreciate it if i did change anything.

because a handful of people have no place in this society, the whole thing should be changed? yes the society may be headed towards disaster but is that any reason to change it? every society before us has crumbled to dust eventually so why should ours be any different? pity on me and you for being enlightened enough to see that our society is moronic but so what? so what if humans rape the planet until they kill themselves off. every other species would do the same thing. every species will grow and grow and eat itself into extinction if it is given the chance without any checks and balances. so what if you and i can see this is a retarded way to live. this is evolution at work. we have a mutation that allows us to see more than others can see. this certainly is not benefitting us personally and seems to work against us. either we will be what postpones humanity's eventual extinction or they'll go extinct a few years earlier... either way so what? the earth will die off when the sun explodes anyway or maybe when an asteroid hits us.

"the system" is just an illusionary smoke and mirror show. you can't fight something like that. it is full of imagination and pure belief without real reasoning and proof. you can't rationally argue with an irrational person. you can't mix reality with fantasy and expect anything logical to come out of it.

as an aside, i don't think people use the word "retarded" enough in casual conversation so i think i will try and revive it. it probably is not used any more due to its seemingly insulting nature towards the mentally challenged. my usage is in no way meant to insult them though... it is just a good word to use.

i am also sick of seeing people relive the same stupid life over and over. read a book or open you eyes because the same stupid things you are doing have already been done before so go find something else to do.

my cat growls, scratches, or bites me when i give it too much attention. when you dote all over a human and give them too much attention they will crap all over you and use you as their toilet. being too free with your time and attention does not make mammals care about you more. it will make them annoyed with you.

sup. i was just reading some web logs. i don't think you people should "grow up" either. "growing up" in this sense means shackling yourself to money and being its slave for the rest of your life. it does terrible things to people. not that people aren't terrible to begin with but it does tend to bring out the worst.

i can't have many words of wisdom for this horrible situation because it is like you are drowning in the middle of an ocean and there are plenty of people who have boats but they will only save you for a price. sure you can try to swim but all the shores are owned and people will not let you swim to them. it isn't a hopeful situation. i guess the only real hope is to be rescued by aliens from up above but that is only wishful thinking.

the only real thing you can do is to accept your fate as a human in this society and get along the best you can. you can try and fight it but you will give in one day so why live with all the stress? just accept it now.

i heard that smiling is related to fear and submissiveness. the facial expressions for fear and smiling are somewhat similar. by showing a smile you are showing a submissiveness to someone so that they don't attack you. you are showing that you fear them. that is one theory of smiling anyway.

another asteroid came close to earth again. it came in closer than the distance to the moon. that is still a lot of space so it's not like it was that close of a call. scientists didn't see the asteroid until about 3 days after it past by. it was not big enough to cause a global catastrophe but it would have caused a nice big localized one if it hit a populated area.

the interlude...

hmm so what to write.... well since you always have to consider the source of the information you get, i will inform you a bit about myself.

i have a skill of putting people down and insulting them. unfortunately this does not work well with being a kind and enlightened being so i have to actively suppress this ability. i used to feel a little bad about not being able to showcase this ability in the past but i have gotten over that. i had to get over the vanity of showcasing a talent. i will still do it on occasion but it is rarer and rarer.

and as far as being enlightened and what not, i won't feel totally enlightened until i conquer sadness. do i feel a little enlightened? yes but not completely there. why is sadness so hard to conquer? because it shuts you down. anger revs you up and is easy to recognize. and since you are revved up in order to carry out your angry deeds you can redirect that energy into suppressing the anger. sadness on the other hand takes away your energy so you have nothing to fight it with. i'll probably talk more about this later though.

i always rejected being a "nerd" and did not befriend those that were. even though no one else thought i was a "cool" kid, i thought i was. i guess i am somewhere in between. i did not enjoy doing school work like the "nerds" did but i performed a lot better academically than the "cool" kids. i didn't like either group and thus had a lack of friends. the nerds and cool kids had more similarities to each other than i had to either of them. the nerds acted just like the cool kids with their social groups and parties and chatter. the only difference was the nerds were uglier and were in advanced classes.

i know it must not come across, but you have to realize that i am a semi-funny person. you won't see it all the time, but i am amusing myself with a lot of the things i write. i don't take things too seriously and so you shouldn't read it as such. i grew up watching lots of sitcoms, cartoons, comedy shows, funny movies, etc. just so you know. and i do make people laugh on a regular basis.

i am sort of amused by people upset by not having grown up with their dad around. i grew up with my father around and i hated it. father's are one of the worst inventions ever made. it is worse in modern times because families are isolated. this gives fathers despotic rule over their family. sure, some of you grew up with great fathers but i can guarantee that you are a minority. what i hated the most about my particular father was that he treated everyone else's children so nicely and then treated me like crap. shouldn't you be nicest to your own family? what was up with that? i know that may not be a common thing but it was the case in my family. oh and i hate when people grow up with terrible fathers and then forgive them like nothing happened. my sister did this and i find it irritating. he treated her horribly but now it's like nothing ever happened. i think forgiveness is fine but not without reparations. he has done nothing to earn the forgiveness. my mother grew up without a dad and i tell her that she is lucky and should be thankful because her life would have only been worse. absolute power corrupts absolutely... and that's what fathers are given is absolute power over their family.

you people should realize that you are living above averagely. most people in the united states and the world are living in far lower conditions than you. they aren't sitting all cozy in front of a computer screen.

i'm a human just like you. i have probably been more isolated than you and so i had more time to think and go a new path. in evolution, a new species begins to develop when part of an old species becomes isolated and starts to evolve down its own path.

carbon monoxide poisoning is the best way to leave the realm of the conscious. a canister of pure stuff i mean. you do turn a bit of pink from it just so you know.

i did participate in a youth hockey league as a child for a few years. and in the first couple years of high school i played lacrosse. i don't watch sporting events on tv. they are so boring that i would rather sit and stare at a wall. i don't have respect for people who do watch them because i think they are just trying to fit in and be like everyone else. i know they are not really entertaining because that is why people need to drink heavily when attending a live event. and gambling is the other thing people do to keep it entertaining. the only sporting event i may watch is one where the opposite sex is nicely displayed in form fitting attire.

i like cats. this is most likely because i grew up with them.

both my parents have smoked cigarettes my entire life. i have an older brother that likes to ride around on his harley davidson motorcycle. he has tatoos and attends rallies too. i have two older sisters that try to fit into society. they wear a lot of make-up and try and dress stylish and live the usual american lifestyle. the oldest though, does not want to have children. she is married and the other is engaged. i don't really talk to any of them and never really have. the two older ones were 12(brother) and 13(sister) when i was born and the other one was 4(other sister). i am obviously the youngest. my father is from canada and did not graduate high school. he moved down to the states, worked a while, then started his own business. my mother grew up in the town i grew up in. she graduated high school and then went to business school. it was more like secretary school though and was only a year long. my oldest sister graduated high school, took some college, then went to work in the corporate world as something or other. my brother graduated high school and then went to work for my father. only recently did he stop working for my father. my other sister went to college and i went to college. the two older siblings are from my father's first marriage but she died. that is why they are so much older than my sister and i.

i have cousins that murdered, committed suicide, died accidental deaths, are drug addicts, and are alcoholics. i knew most of them but not too well. a couple of them lived with us for a while but it never affected me. nah, sharing a bedroom with a guy who killed his father with an axe as he slept wouldn't affect you would it? his father was abusive by the way and he only served time in a mental hospital. he ended up killing himself though after his sister killed herself.

yeah so that's my family.

there is more detail but i'll leave you with the basics for now. i once told the more detailed story to someone and they would not believe that so many bad things would happen to one family. my response to that is that you people live above averagely and don't know what is going on in the lesser parts of your country and the world. my father may have gotten us up to an upper middle class lifestyle but we came from the common folk. my brother, who lives the working class lifestyle, has a lot more problems than the rest of us and his kids are really starting to show it.

well goodnight sweet people of internet land. i am off to bed now. let me leave you with some uplifting thoughts though. umm... uhh... hmm....

seriously folks, remember that you can either live your life in a pit of despair or in a field of sunshine... why choose the pit when the sunny field is just as attainable? all you need is the right perspective and a bit of understanding.

we will return to our regularly scheduled programming following this brief (or possibly not so brief) interlude.

i need to change things up for a while. it's not like more than a handful of people read this anyway but for them i do have a semi-responsibility to keep a steady flow of fresh content. it may be of less interest but what can i tell ya. when i am back in the mood i will write more about being human from a more distant perspective but for now i will be a bit more self-involved.

5 haiku:

do what i tell you
ignore when i wrong the right
mirror what i do

burn the trees away
no oxygen left to breathe
monoxide only

through evolution
you exterminated peace
war alone survives

you molest the pure
you kill off the innocent
hatred you adore

flames of destruction
a glorious victory
spoils of despair

more excerpts...

human evolution, like that of other organisms, is not a gradual transformation of form and behavior over time. Rather, like the shifts in the environments in which organisms find themselves, evolutionary change is abrupt, even catastrophic.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=
0004C78E-D2FB-1D07-8E49809EC588EEDF&pageNumber=1&catID=2

the earth's climate does great flip-flops every few thousand years, and with breathtaking speed. In just a few years, the climate suddenly cools worldwide. With only half the rainfall, severe dust storms whirl across vast areas. Lightning strikes ignite giant forest fires. For most mammals, including our ancestors, populations crash.

Our ancestors lived through hundreds of such abrupt episodes since the more gradual Ice Ages began two and a half million years ago--but abrupt cooling produced a population bottleneck each time, one that eliminated most of their relatives. We are the improbable descendants of those who survived--and later thrived. William H. Calvin's marvelous A Brain for All Seasons argues that such cycles of cool, crash, and burn powered the pump for the enormous increase in brain size and complexity in human beings. Driven by the imperative to adapt within a generation to "whiplash" climate changes where only grass did well for a while, our ancestors learned to cooperate and innovate in hunting large grazing animals.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0226092011/ref=
ase_scientificameric/104-3176739-9199161

damn... people are some ignant mutha f'ers... they love not to know...

i was reading scientific american online and here is an exerpt...

Facing such a reality, perhaps we should not be surprised at the results of a 2001 Gallup poll confirming that 45 percent of Americans believe "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so"; 37 percent prefer a blended belief that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God guided this process"; and a paltry 12 percent accept the standard scientific theory that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God had no part in this process."

In a forced binary choice between the "theory of creationism" and the "theory of evolution," 57 percent chose creationism against only 33 percent for evolution (10 percent said that they were "unsure"). One explanation for these findings can be seen in additional results showing that just 34 percent considered themselves to be "very informed" about evolution.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=
0007DE34-B74D-1D07-8E49809EC588EEDF&catID=2

gluttony leads to laziness. if you stuff your face then you will not be at your best. when you stuff yourself you need to rest. if you are stuffed all the time then you will rest more. your mind and body will go into lazy-mode.

there used to be a lot of starvation in human populations. those that could survive periods of famine went on to breed and create the next generation. the special ability that they had to survive famine was their gluttonous behavior and their ability to get fat. if there was food available they would eat it and keep on eating it until there was none and eating so much food made them fat. when a period of famine arrived, the fat ones were able to last until food was plentiful again while the skinny or non-gluttonous ones died off.

after eating a big meal, you need rest because digestion needs to take place. the more food, the longer the digestion period obviously. you'll get cramps if you try and exert yourself too soon after eating because your blood flow has shifted more to your digestive system for it to do its work. so obviously, the more you stuff yourself, the more you will need to rest. you will feel lazy in both mind and body.

in order to avoid gluttony induced laziness you need to eat smaller meals which are broken up throughout the day so that you are not eating so much at a single meal and you can't stuff yourself at any of them.

i think that i am at the point where i found out what being a human is all about to the point where there is no mystery left. love, hate, patriotism, honor, etc. are things i can't really feel anymore because i know their origin and their implications. i do still laugh though. i really don't recommend learning all about humans and the world you live in if you want to really live your life and get a lot out of it. everything will become meaningless to you. it is hard to take human concepts seriously when you know it is just a made-up fantasy. it is hard to play by society's rules when you think the rules are a joke. everything is just silliness now. learning all about humans and the world you live in would not be feasible until you are surrounded by others learning the same thing. you will be lost in a world in which you do not fit otherwise. i have out grown this place and it is now time for my mothership to beam me up. but until that happens i'll be chillin. so 'sup y'all.

i am sick of seeing beautiful members of the opposite sex. they are a distraction and at times a safety hazard. i am also sick of people trying to look their best. can't you get beyond the excessive vanity of things like eyebrow waxing and finger/toe nail manicuring and wearing makeup? does every little thing really have to be perfect? don't you even want to find a mate based on something besides looks? shouldn't you even be going out of your way to dress down so that a potential mate likes you for who you are and not what you look like? do you really enjoy working long hours in order to support your consumption of beauty supplies and services? do you really enjoy using a significant portion of the day primping yourself and worrying how good you look? do you really like basing so much self-worth on how you look? god forbid you get into an accident and loose an eyebrow... you'd have to commit suicide since you could not live with the horror of having only one eyebrow. for goodness sakes shake some sense into yourself and do yourself some good and get over yourself and how you look.

being human:

waking
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
sleeping

rinse and repeat... day after day after day after day etc.

you people are so self-obsessed it's ridiculous. and for the love of whatever you believe in, stop being so damn serious. you are an organism dressed up in plant fibers walking around gibber-jabbering about complete nonsense.

you'd think you mattered more to the universe than the speck of spooge that you are with all that "serious" talk that comes out of your mouth.

how serious can you take yourself knowing that "talking" is just vibrations coming out of your digestive tract opening and that fecal matter comes out the opposite end?

you're not the crazy one. you live in a society built on strange and imaginary ideas. there is nothing you can do to change it though. you can either start a new society (which is harder today because all free land has been taken by the governments of the world and their actions would affect you anyway) or you can accept what you're given and try to manipulate it enough to your liking so that you can get along or you can not accept it and try to fight it and die frustrated and alone. i'd go for the option of accepting it and trying to make what you have work because it is the simplest and makes the most sense. why make things harder than they need to be?

you will be dead soon enough so why not just smile the rest of the days you have left? you can't take the pain, sorrow, and worry with you when you die so get rid of it as it comes in... why hold on to it? sure you can worry yourself to death over anything but just accept things and move on and you can go through each day with a better feeling than misery.

11/17/99

inner pain will be dealt with as a fleeting entity with no purposeful role.
its reason for being will be of no consequence as it may not be a rational reason.
a pursual of its reason will be considered futile as it may not truly exist.
dealing with the inner pain will be carried out with either meditation or distraction.
distraction would be considered a task consisting of an enjoyable hobby.
above all, inner pain shall not be spread to others and will be dealt with internally until its initial emotion full stage has passed and it can be dealt with on a logical level.

silence will be a sufficient indicator of its presence and will be noted by any bystanders.

bystanders will then back away and also engage in either meditation or a distraction.
the injured party will then contact the bystander when a dialogue can begin concerning any real and actual problems the injured party may have.
most importantly, the bystander and injured party will maintain a close proximity during the post injury, pre-discussion period.

the following may be said to the silent person during their moment of pain:
"please remeber that the pain that you are feeling is a fleeting thing and that it may not even be based on anything that is real. I say this to you in love and caring because i cherish you and i value you and your happiness. if you need to talk i am here for you."

the problem with finding friends or mates is that it is too late to dismiss them as incompatible because by the time you find out, you are too deeply involved. a way to get to know them before investing so much into them would be a better way. perhaps we should carry around a summary of ourselves and hand it to people at first contact.

12/27/2000

It all began as it always does. I was alone. I always am. my mind wandered as it always does. Where was it going tonight? I don't know the answer and i never do. someplace new and exciting as it sometimes does or to someplace isolated and full of sadness as it more often does. like a roller coaster i ride the ups and downs and twists and turns, my stomache churning all the same.

i once saw, on tv, a professor that handed out horoscopes to his class. the class was to read them and say if the horoscopes fit them or not. the horoscopes fit them, and it turned out that everyone was reading the exact same horoscope. people ignored the things that didn't quite fit and focused on the generalities that are true about everyone. by doing this, the horoscopes fit.

you will also do this when it comes to "intuition". you will worry every time that your son goes out driving at night in his car but the one night that he does get into an accident you will use that as the proof that your intuition about him was correct. what about every other time that you were wrong and he did not get into an accident? you suddenly ignore that and focus in on the one time that your "intuition" about him getting into an accident was correct.

you have the bad feelings all the time so when it happens once you use that as the justification but ignore all those times you had bad feelings but nothing happened. you don't have a special intuition if you are wrong 99% of the time. also, some things are so obvious that of course you could see them coming.

get rid of the magic and replace it with sound logic and reason and you will be correct more of the time than if you rely on horoscopes and intuition.

way long ago, at age 14, people would have been considered adults. females would have been married off and males would be part of the hunting party. they both would have been independent of their parents. perhaps "teenage rebellion" then, is due to the confinement of these young people at an age where they were biologically meant to be free? teenage rebellion is not against one's peers but against one's parents. some would say it is against society as well but that would be because society seeks to confine them as much as parents do. in a society where they were not confined into being treated like children, they would not rebel.

this rebellion makes evolutionary sense because it would create a desire to start a new life away from one's parents and to find a mate and have children. if a human were to be treated as a child and accepted it then that human would never find a mate and produce offspring. the humans that rebelled against being kept as a "child" left their house and started a new life with a mate and had children.

teenage rebellion is mostly about expressing one's desire to be a "grown-up". in ancient times, this rebellion would manifest itself by the teen moving out and starting a family. the teens that moved out had more children while the teens that did not rebel stayed at home and didn't start a family. if a culture does not confine teenagers then this rebellion probably does not occur.

in our modern times where a human requires a higher education than that of our ancestors, letting teenagers loose on society would not work. we keep them locked up for a reason but perhaps a less confining way is more appropriate to lessen their rebellious desires.

doing sexual things to satisfy your sexual cravings does not work. doing sexual things will promote more sexuality thus producing more cravings. it is not better to "do it" in order to release the desire. the desire will not be released and will in fact only get stronger. the only way to satisfy sexual cravings is by utilizing non-sexual means. you have to practice not being sexual as well as utilizing distraction or avoidance methods.

summation of a 1996 ABC news special entitled "The Mystery of Happiness: Who has it and How to get it".

In it, it says these are important aspects of happiness: control (being able to control your life and control things in your life), optimism (expecting the best to happen and that things will be okay), belief in god (the sense of purpose and commitment). Also, inactivity is bad, happiness occurs when we engage ourselves in a meaningful activity that challenges and engages our skills. An activity or job that challenges you and makes you feel well used. Happiness occurs when you actively do things and not sit around. The biggest determinant is whether you have close relationships. Close supportive connective relationships make for happiness.

Something else that was said that I've heard before... if you fake being happy, it will actually make you happier. The easiest thing to do, and I have actually done this, is to just force yourself to smile, and by activating those same smiling muscles, it mimics the effects of an actual smile and can make you feel better.

it would be nice to live in a peaceful world where everyone is valued and everyone is "happy" and everyone has a rich and fulfilling life. sound nice? to some people this is not so nice.

a lot of people are benefitting because everyone is not valued and because not everyone is happy and because not everyone has a rich and fulfilling life. you folks reading this on that computer of yours, can no doubt assume your computer has parts in it assembled by people who will never own a computer. most of your possessions, food items, homes and buildings, and sanitation can be traced back to people who lead a lifestyle that you would find not as comfortable as your own. you are directly benefitting from other people not being as valued as others. and chances are that someone else is even benefitting from you not being as valued as they are.

don't make the mistake of assuming that those people living a "lower" lifestyle are there because they are inferior. they have to start life out in a home that does not value education and one that puts them to work as soon as possible. their surroundings are tough and unsupportive. if you grew up in the same conditions you would turn out the same as they did and vice versa. they do not get the same opportunities you do. you can't expect them to just "get an education". and society itself does not want them to be highly educated or else no one would do menial tasks. if you were highly educated, would you rather use that education to make $70,000 a year as an attorney in this society or use the education to make $6.50 an hour pumping human waste out of a septic tank? if we wanted everyone to be highly educated then why aren't we pumping resources into doing this? do you really think people would choose a lesser lifestyle if they were truly given the opportunity to choose which life they could lead? obviously these people are not given a real opportunity.

the entire reason that we exist today is because of our hormones making us dopey enough to fall for people so easily and completely. the people who were not so controllable did not mate and left no offspring to carry on their "uncontrollable" genes. yes you can train yourself to not be so controllable but it takes practice and realization that your hormones play such a significant role in your thinking.