how was i misguided when i first started internet "chatting"? well like a lot of the people out there i went looking for love. yes i grew up like you and had that damn notion of love and the perfect mate and yadda yadda. i figured finding the perfect mate would be the answer to all my prayers. damn stupid fairy tales. not ever really talking to people for long durations growing up was a disadvantage for me when it came to chatting.

i didn't really have practice in the art of conversation. i stumbled around a bit and found that when i focused on learning about the other person i kept both me and the other person partly entertained. i used it as research to find out about people and people are narcissistic and like to answer questions about themselves. it was a good match. i mean it didn't always work because some people get suspicious or distrustful when questioned so much. but for the most part it did work. oh and there is one more thing i got out of it. i only talked to the opposite sex and you could say it also served as a bit of an interview to see if they would be a suitable mate. sneaky eh? but also remember i knew enough about my own gender through myself and the interactions i had with them in school. it was the opposite gender that i was intrigued with. plus my hormones made me interested in them.

and so it went, i questioned and they answered. i learned a lot. and you know what happened? well guess what happens when someone tells you all about themselves... what they think and feel and how they grew up and what their life is like. can you guess? well they feel really close and connected with the person they told these things to. and so what happens when two love starved individuals get together and form such bonds? yes they fall in love. stupid, fake, fantasyland style love. and yes i rinsed and repeated this process a few times to know the truth in it. it took me those many times to finally figure out that it was all a fantasy. i never tried to manipulate people by going through that question and answer style process. it just happened. i mean today i'd know what would happen but i didn't back then.

yes it was online love, but to those in it, it was the only love they had and real enough to them. just think of it as back it the day when people fell in love through letter writing. seems perfectly reasonable and romantic right? and with chatting it was about the person and who they were not what they looked like. i'd say it has better potential to find a match because i spent hours everyday talking to someone. we didn't spend them fondling and making-out like real dating. those people barely know anything about one another beyond how "hot" the other looks.

but looking for love in any way, be it online or in a club, is going to be a bad situation. it is like searching for the easter bunny. you'll think you saw him but he was never really there. he doesn't exist so it is a fruitless search. always look for a companion i.e. a friend. find someone who makes it easier for you to get through your day. someone to talk to and who will listen and care. someone who you want to listen to as well. find someone compatible with your thoughts and your likes. "love" can blind you from seeing how incompatible you really are. "hey we have nothing in common but we love each other" does not last long. it will fail miserably. i got blinded and burned. just find a friend that is compatible.

i set out to find a loyal friend and mate. i thought who would make a better loyal friend than a mate. there would be no one to stand in between us like the other's mate if we were just friends. we would be friend and mate all in one. but i got blinded and did not see the incompatibilities. don't let "love" blind you.