Clarity is what i have. i can see things that the regular person can not. i see myself from the outside. i can stop in mid-action and say "wait, control yourself". it is difficult for me to remain angry or sad as i will always see myself from the outside and tell myself to stop because it is doing me no good. if i were to follow through with any emotion, it would be just an act, as the moment and mood of it are spoiled by my watchful eye. when i see someone angry i can't help but to think "why are you acting it out like that, just stop it". where if someone said that to me, i would stop it, i have learned it does not always work in others. it has the potential to work, but they do not know that most of their life is just an act in a play.

"i am the type of person that does and says this". that is a role you assigned yourself to play. you could easily stray from it but you keep yourself focused on that role and play it out to the bitter end. most probably don't know they can stray from it. when you are offended by something, it is just an act you chose to play. "i will be offended by this". you don't really have to be offended but your role says that you must act out the part of the offended.

all these labels that we give ourselves helps us to define our roles. "i am an irish female and will thus act accordingly". if you live by these labels, then you are living as an actor in a play. you are forming yourself into a mold and acting accordingly to it.

how can you take someone seriously when their whole interaction with you is a semi-scripted play? once you know their labels you can pretty much tell what they think and what their responses will be. they make it easy by wanting to conform to their labels.

Many years ago, you never would have conceived that you lived on a hunk of rock that is hurtling through space around an enormous fire ball. Your knowledge would have been limited by the knowledge that your society provides. What we know is based upon a build-up of previous knowledge that we inherit from previous generations.

In pre-historic times, the knowledge of which berries to pick in the forest came from the previous generations who watched tribe members die from eating deadly berries. lack of abundant food supplies, made experimentation necessary. in time, the tribe knew which food sources were safe to eat and which were not. this knowledge was passed down to younger tribe members who then built upon it with new knowledge of newer food supplies.

once civilizations came into being, knowledge of food procurement and general history was not the only information passed on to the next generation. scientific and technological advancements were passed on and built upon by the next generation.

certainly throughout time, humans have had a skewed vision of the world around them due to the limited knowledge of their society. it's as if people see things through tinted glasses with blinders on the sides. They only see in the direction that their society provides by its particular buildup of knowledge and what they see is skewed by their society's limited knowledge. If one is part of a mystical society, one may view events as originating from magic.

some truths or at least half truths are revealed with this limited vision. These revelations are held up as proof to the veracity of the entire limited vision. If this is true then the rest of it must be true, is the common mantra. this of course is nonsense and leads to a skewed view of the world and its constituents. you think you are seeing things clearly, but with the tinted glasses of your limited knowledge, things may not be as clear as you think. and with untruths built upon more untruths, your entire view may become seriously skewed.

most of our time is spent escaping "reality" i.e. books, movies, tv, drugs and alcohol. even the ones who spend their time engaged in "serious" matters are really only playing a game of pretend. "I am a federal court judge and demand the respect and honor that my high position grants me". that person is just another hairless ape like the rest of us playing a part in some grand game of make-believe. reality is completing the digestive cycle while sitting on the toilet.

watch a lot of people play board games or athletic games and you can see them taking the games a little too seriously. in the same way, you are taking the games of pretend that you play in your life too seriously. sure you can play your games and have fun doing it but do not forget what is real. do not get so caught up in the games. all those special meanings that you attach to everything are just pretend. there is nothing more special to a wedding ring than there is to a clump of dirt. the meaning is pure imagination.

when you play games of pretend, people will tend to bend the rules to their favor. children do this all the time with their games. this is not a fair game and one that will not go as you originally intended. it will not go by a strict set of unchanging rules like many expect it to. those that cheat will exploit the ones that don't cheat.

you should find, once you step outside the sphere of pretend, that life becomes a simple process. there are no longer all these intermingling realms of pretend with differing rules. you see what is really going. all those things that used to not make sense are now cleared up. most of them were probably just pretend and no longer matter anyway. and those that weren't pretend, are no longer covered in its shroud and are plainly visible for what they are.

A muscle grows stronger only when stressed beyond its initial capacity. After stress, a recovery period heals and then builds-up the muscle so that it is stronger than the pre-stress capacity.

With too much stress on a muscle without chance for recovery and subsequent build-up, the muscle will only weaken into a conditioned termed over-training.

With too little stress or with too long a recovery period, the muscle will fail to increase capacity due to lack of sufficient stress. Also, gains from the initial stress do not last for long and once sufficient recovery has taken place, a greater stress must be applied within the appropriate time frame to build upon the increased strength.

Perhaps this can also be applied to your mental growth. It may be that without struggle, you will not grow. It may be that struggle must play as vital a role to your life as air and food. Embrace your struggle and learn from it because it will be your only true mentor.

Seek out struggle in order to learn but do it judiciously as too much stress without sufficient recovery will only set you back. Build upon successes with more and greater struggles. Do not sit aside once a single victory has been won for gains are short-lasting and must be maintained.

If you were taught that struggle is something to avoid then were lied to. If you were taught that your life should turn out to be non-stop joy then you were lied to. If you were taught that life is anything but struggle then you were lied to. You will and you must struggle for survival as your ancestors did before you. "Survival of the fittest" is not just a catchy slogan, it makes the point that everything alive today is here because it overcame struggle.

Modern society has removed so much struggle from us that we are flaccid weaklings not fit to survive. You knew back in the day, when we hunted and gathered our food, that every last member of the tribe was a vital and valued member. Daily life was a struggle and if you did not meet that struggle you surely died. If others cared enough about you then you survived for another day. You struggled at food procurement and you struggled to build social ties. Once you sit back and no longer struggle then you are left out to die. There are no laurels to rest upon.

Modern society's removal of so much struggle has also fooled you into thinking that struggle is an unacceptable way to live and that something must be wrong if a challenge presents itself. You are shocked when you find yourself in the middle of a struggle. And if you have no previous experience in overcoming struggle, you are lost. There is no such thing as tragedy; it is called life. A tragic situation is just another day in the game of life. Struggle goes hand-in-hand with living.

Do not shrink away when challenge presents itself; overcome and grow from it. Build up your ability to handle struggle by engaging in it so that when greater challenge comes you are ready for it.

Corporations have broken their social contract. They take and take and return nothing of great value to society. Society provides them with such things as language, education, monetary systems, legal systems, and a talent pool from which to get employees.

Corporations give back inferior products and services due to lack of competition due to the buying up and merging with competitors. These inferior products and services are also due to constant cost cutting in order to "maximize profits" to the point where the product or service is a shadow of its original quality.

It is society that pays the cost of the constant unemployment caused by corporations maximizing profits through downsizing staff. It is the cost of doing business in a society that gives you a field to play on in the first place to not treat its citizens like a commodity to be bought and sold and fired and hired at whim.

Corporations treat their employees like slaves and swindle their customers through price fixing and selling lower and lower quality items at original prices and wasting valuable resources. They not only break their social contract in these regards but they then use their fortunes which are amassed by these unjust means to influence the very government that is supposed to regulate them into following acceptable business practices.

Corporations have clearly acted against society's best interest and for this have broken their contract. Corporations need to be stopped at once and forced to take society's interest into account. This is the purpose of government and is something they should be regulating. But because government is currently setup to be influenced heavily by large contributions from corporations, this is unlikely to happen. Clearly, government is not acting in society's best interest as well.

can't believe it's been 3 months already. there may be some updates soon. have some material but need to write it. still not as much as i hoped though because i had a lot of work to do so my research was a lot less than had hoped at this point. later.

yes, i am still on sabbatical. i have some info but it'll have to wait. hmm well... for now...

finally there was another reference to the aquatic past of humans. i am glad to see it out there again.

and i read up on the upcoming ice-age. no no... it's not global warming anymore. well it is, but only temporarily until the ice melts and dilutes the salt water of the oceans and stops the flow of the oceans from bringing the warm water from the equator up to the north. england should be as cold as canada but they aren't because of the ocean bringing the warm water up. once the water stops flowing then they will get cold and canada will get colder eh. and this could all happen in our lifetimes and last for thousands of years. so yeah there you go.

not very detailed but i'm busy and on leave. go read the archives though... i hear they are quite decent.

here are some some recent searches that brought humans to this page:

courting a human mate

mating

how to brainwash females

Is love a delusion

courtship relationship humans

human female courting to human male

laugh enough to be happy suffer enough to be human

a scientific definition of a human being

motorcycle tatoos

can the muther stop the father seeing his child

sometimes it doesn't work out the way you want. sometimes that is the best way it could have worked out. poor little you can't always know what is best for you. sometimes chance takes its turn in directing your life and it turns out the better for it.

no matter how hard i tried to fight against it, things just kept on going my way. an outcast? alone? poor social skills? yeah i suppose at different times but not always. things always seemed to work out. lack of negative peer pressure during the times that turn good kids bad was a benefit. small bouts of positive interactions with others sprinkled in between the loneliness to keep me going. enough loneliness to develop an outside view of society which led to a greater understanding. enough unhappiness that led to the studying of happiness and its achievement and maintenance. enough lack of opposite sex interaction that led to studying of relationship development and maintenance.

the things that went wrong always led to things that went right. it is true that we learn from mistakes. your down position will only serve to put you in an up position as the tides of life move in and out. don't look at the negative in your life as a slide to the pit of despair because it is really a ladder to the light. a "perfect" life does not lead to enlightenment. it takes a life full of hardship to appreciate the lessons that are to be learned.

i am on sabbatical so that means updates will be fewer than usual. there is an extensive archive incase you have not read it yet. i'll be back now and again though. i am in research mode so that is what i'll be busy with.

the ones who achieve "success" are the best at deluding themselves or best at staying ignorant. when faced with reality, a well-informed, rational person can not help but weigh the odds of success and to rationalize a lesser course as more suitable. the rational person will see the slim odds of success and not even bother at an attempt. it is the human that deludes himself into a world of fantasy, or ignorance, that takes the risks towards success.

from a different perspective, you can purposely use delusion to help yourself achieve goals you otherwise thought impossible. you can talk yourself into doing a lot of things and achieving more. start small to prove it to yourself and work your way up to the bigger things.

a female dominated society is the ideal society if we want to live in a world that is caring and less aggressive and less violent.

in the two main variety of chimpanzee, the "common" chimp has the male dominated society where as the "bonobo" variety has the female dominated one. the bonobo females form tight groups and dominate the males. the bonobo society is more sexual and less aggressive than the "common" chimp society. the male dominated "common" chimp society is aggressive and murderous and engages in more aggressive styles of sexual interaction.

elephant society is matriarchal. it is a very caring society. it looks after its members and will rescue them when in need. they are also communicative with one another. they mourn their dead as well.

for a caring and less aggressive and less violent society, we need human females in leadership roles. unfortunately, many female humans tend to act male when put in leadership roles. probably more accurately, is that they got to that position by following the male style in the male-dominated setting. the female style is about communication and working together and supporting one another. the male style is about competition and aggression and exploitation and pushing others out of your way on the way to the top. you can see these styles in the day-to-day interactions of males and females.

human females are not perfect though. they are easily exploitable by the human male. this is evolutionarily necessary or else there would be no mating and no babies and no more species. from an outside observers perspective, you can easily see the nonsense that males feed to females in order to entice them into mating. any rationally thinking human should be able to see right through the male ruse to mate but unfortunately for females, the ones that could see through this, died off having never left offspring because they never mated. only the females that were duped into really thinking that the male truly cared for them were the ones that mated and perpetuated the human species. the male is designed to mate at all costs and will gladly exploit female trust in order to do so.

this ease of exploitation has led female humans to be even more exploited by human males. for most of history, females have been relegated as second class citizens with fewer rights than males. they have also been led to believe they were mentally inferior. it is easy to see why this happened when you see a human female fawning all over a male that is speaking sweet nothings into her ear. the female is designed to accept this nonsense as truth and hold to as if the male actually could live up to it.

the answer then, is for human females to realize this vulnerability and plug it up like a hole in a dam. human males will try and exploit you. they try and exploit everyone they come in contact with and you are no exception. you must realize this and bring yourself to you senses whenever he opens his mouth. guard yourself and stay in tightly knit groups of other females. realize your worth and the worth of your female way of life to bring peace and harmony to violent and uncaring world.

short-term love is hormonal. long-term love is delusional. the nature of long-term love is delusion i.e. in order to maintain love we must delude ourselves. in order to maintain this delusion we must work at it.

short-term love is easy because your hormones do all the work. it makes you do all that you can for the other person and it makes you forgiving of the imperfect things they do. short-term love even makes the other person better-looking and more interesting than they really are. although the raising of a human baby is important, the having of the baby in the first place is even more important. this is why evolution made short-term love so controlled by your instincts and long-term love just an after-thought for you to figure out on your own. in most species, there is only short-term love. they are led by their hormones to mate and then the mother is left to take care of the aftermath. it is rare for a species to mate for life. some do but most don't.

evolution did not forget about long-term love but it did not put much effort into it either. there are definite benefits to long-term love. for one, the human babies get two providers instead of one. this means more protection and more care which would translate into a better chance at survival. in most other species, the females are the same size and have the same physical ability as the males. this is not the case in humans so it would be a logical conclusion that the larger human male is needed in the protection of the human female and her baby as well as for food procurement. also, human offspring take much longer to mature than other species. this forces the human mother to devote more time and effort into taking care of her baby. this also shows that a male partner would be advantageous.

from the perspective of the male and female humans, long-term love has some benefits as well. when we settle down into a long-term relationship we tend to relax and feel more complete. we do not groom ourselves as much and care less about our physical appearance because we no longer have the urge to compete for a mate. our need to mate becomes satiated. its even been shown that humans in long-term relationships live longer than those who aren't.

but here is the problem, once your hormones stop keeping you in love, you are on your own. there isn't much keeping you together anymore beyond habit and remembrance of the short-term, passionate love you once had. this is why long-term love is based solely on delusion. we have to brainwash ourselves into thinking that we care about this person our hormones drove us to. if we do not delude ourselves then we will leave at the next sign of short-term love we get with someone else. this means that you must work at long-term love because it does not come so naturally. instead of your hormones making you see your mate as better-looking and interesting, you must now do it on your own. in other words, you must delude yourself. there are benefits to long-term relationships so this may be something you want to do to maintain the relationship.

to the question:
"but what's the point of reproducing then?"

the answer:
the point of reproducing is to perpetuate your species. for the original organisms, being able to reproduce was a mutation like anything else. the ones that did not reproduce just died off. the ones that just happened to be able to reproduce passed on their genetic material to offspring. the ones that were the best at reproducing produced even more offspring. we are the end product of billions of years of reproduction refinement. we are good at reproducing because we have been designed and refined to be so. our design makes us want to reproduce and makes us enjoy reproducing. we reproduce because we are programmed to reproduce.

male and female humans were not meant to really live together in relationships in the isolated conditions that the current human society teaches. they were meant to live together in a large group of other people that stayed mostly segregated along gender lines. apes and primitive human tribes pretty much follow this.

if you look around, we pretty much follow this too. male humans hang-out with other male humans and female humans hang-out with other female humans. male and female humans even have different social hierarchies and different ways of communication. on average, male and female humans have vastly different interests as well. plus, most long-term male-female relationships end in fighting and being annoyed by the other person. we were just not designed to live together. of course it is possible but it takes more patience, practice, and training than living with the same sex.

males and females should really only get together for times of courting and mating. if you are a female, then that is what your male "friend" is really after anyway. we were designed for sex and reproduction so you cannot deny that it is a prevalent thought. yes of course you can be civilized and be friends but it is only if you suppress this natural instinct of mating.

yes we do have urges to pair-bond with another human. this does not mean we should be so tightly tied to them in the isolated manner in which we are. they need to spend most of their time with their gender and visa-versa. a courtship-like relationship is then more possible. you do not get sick of one another because you do what you want and the other does what he/she wants and you meet together for times of courting and mating. this system also gives a support structure to both parties because they have their same-gender friends for support if things aren't working out. the couple would not be so reliant on one another.

this is how we lived for 90,000 years prior to locking up females in farm houses for the last 10,000 years. we were meant for group living. humans become tyrants when isolated.

i will be using this definition of "civilization":
advanced development of society: an advanced level of development in society that is marked by complex social and political organization, and material, scientific, and artistic progress.
[Definition courtesy of Encarta.com]

a funny thought is that no ancient civilization survived into the modern day. once they got too big, every civilization collapsed under its own weight or under the foot of a larger civilization. it is also easy to see that history repeats itself over and over and over and over again. so what are the chances that our modern civilizations will last indefinitely?

so the interesting bit is to wonder in what manner will our civilization reach its demise. will we become too unmanageable and factionalize? will better managed "barbarians" storm in to take advantage of a bloated bureaucracy and take over? or perhaps technology will allow governments to control its citizens to the point where they cannot rebel or factionalize, thus keeping control? better technology is an advantage they have over the ancient civilizations. but can they really stay invincible? won't they eventually be overtaken? will our civilization's demise be sudden and forceful or will it be subtle and predictable? could looking at the demise of previous civilizations aid in that prediction?

will the world eventually become a united world ruled under essentially one government? if that global government falls will the entire world be plunged into a dark age? when everything becomes digitized and all advanced knowledge is kept on computers, a collapse of society and its infrastructure would easily wipe out our access to that advanced knowledge. it will then only take a couple generations for us to lose all advanced knowledge.

there is no greater meaning in life. you were born to reproduce. that's all. the cosmic design does not intend for you to be anything more than a sack of cells that passes on part of itself to an offspring. all this elaborate nonsense of human "society" is just a mutation gone awry.

and remember this... human civilization has been around for a short time in the scheme of life on earth. other life forms lived and died after MILLIONS of years of existence. humans have only been around for 100,000 years and their complex societies have been around for less than 10,000 years. no one has said that our way of life will be an evolutionary advantage. our current way of life may very well lead to our extinction. we would not be the first species to use up all its resources and die out.

"it's so quiet at three in the morning", Timothy said to himself. "it's like i'm the only one around and i have all the world to myself." Timothy had this thought most of the times he was awake at this time. he hadn't the stress of the day-lit world at these times. he was in his own world, his stress-free, no-responsibility world. if only things could stay like this, he thought.

it was hard to think that the other world, the day-lit one, was real. it just didn't seem right. why wasn't it working out the way it was supposed to? it must be a dream or a nightmare because his transition from student to professional and from child to adult just wasn't working out. where is the switch to flip in order to make the change? what am i supposed to do to make it happen, asked Timothy.

in his night-world Timothy was safe and secure. he felt sure of himself and where he was. why the discrepancy? why can't the other world be this easy? something must be wrong.

Timothy eventually got sleepy enough to lay in his bed. he thought for a while longer until finally falling asleep.

standing next to an old maple tree, Timothy stared out at the horizon thinking about where he was going in his life. he had no plans and no one making plans for him. he was pretty much left to shape his own life. he never knew much about the world so this was rather difficult. it's like trying to build a house when all you've ever seen is the outside of one and have no idea of their internal framework. he's seen people and their lives and their relationships but never knew them beyond what he saw on the outside. he did not know how they really led their lives and got where they were or how they made those relationships. so for his own life, he could imagine an end product but not how to get there.

Timothy had gone to school his entire life and now it was over. 'now what?', he said to himself. he imagined himself coming home from some imaginary career to an imaginary wife to eat an imaginary dinner that smelled imaginarily great. he just had no idea where to begin to create this imaginary life in the real world. in his entire school career no class ever taught him what to do once he was out of school. there was no magic career fairy waiting for him when he received his diploma like he always thought there would be. she was supposed to have got him his career once he graduated but she never came. in school, things were just assigned to him and he did them. suddenly he is expected to go out on his own and find assignments a.k.a. a job. this is the opposite of what he had been trained for. things used to come to him and he did as little as he could get away with. how could he be expected to be the extra-credit type who seeks out work on their own?

Timothy felt the fear rise in his stomach as he pondered what would become of himself. he felt alone and clueless in a world that seemed to let him slip by. he wondered where help would come from and if it would ever come. he wondered if he would ever meet his imaginary wife and own his imaginary home. his sadness mixed with a bit of anger over the helplessness he felt.

a honking horn interrupted his train of thought and Timothy came out of the trance he had put himself under. Timothy walked back to his house and ate dinner.

incase anyone is interested in starting their own country, here is someone who did just that... www.SealandGov.com

in the documentary that was mentioned earlier, it had a group of monkeys that were studied in their natural environment. the monkeys that were not able to handle stress died [apparently they just stopped eating].

when away from their mate and especially when far away, humans will have the tendency to "cheat" on their mate. this is one reason that long-distance relationships do not work out. this has nothing to do with trust or how well your relationship is going or how good a person you are, it is just a natural tendency that we have.

because it is a natural tendency, the feelings can't be avoided but they can be ignored. the best defense is to realize that the tendency does exist and to prepare for it. you shouldn't feel guilty that you develop romantic feelings for other people because you are hard-wired for it. you need to recognize those feelings when they appear and analyze them rationally to diffuse their magical effect. you have to be convinced that love is not magic and the strong feelings you get for people are hormone related only. you should not make your job harder by putting yourself in intimate settings with people you could get interested in.

humans that are ignorant of this tendency to cheat on their mate when they are away will have trouble in their lives. they will question themselves and their relationship and think that their new feelings for someone else must mean something significant. some will be so confused and impressed by these new feelings that they will follow them up and act on them. when they finally get back to reality, most will realize the mistake they made but of course it's too late. their old mate may or may not forgive this betrayal.

as a human, you will continue to get romantic feelings for people you find new and interesting and "sexy" even if you are in a relationship. it won't matter what kind of person you are or how good your relationship is. it is up to you to be aware of these feelings when they appear and to diffuse them with reason and logic. you should cast off these primitive feelings as imaginary and not based on something sensible. you should avoid these situations so that you are not constantly tempting yourself. humans will be humans if you let them.

What your doctor doesn't know could kill you
"A computer program that provides vast amounts of information for diagnosing and treating patients could revolutionize the practice of medicine. So why won't physicians use it?"

does it make sense to use memory alone to try and diagnose a patient when you could instead use a database that contains every disease and symptom ever discovered? would you rather trust a calculator or the pencil and paper method in determining a life-saving calculation? it seems the medical community chooses pencil and paper. but if you think about it, the medical community has been based more in voodoo than science since its inception. too bad old habits die hard.

The Serious Search for an Anti-Aging Pill
"...consumption of a low-calorie yet nutritionally balanced diet, works incredibly well in a broad range of animals, increasing longevity and prolonging good health. Those findings suggest that caloric restriction could delay aging in humans, too."

Caloric Restriction
"The widespread observation that caloric restriction will increase longevity must be tempered with the recognition that it has progressively less effect the later in life it is begun"

"Although caloric restriction might extend the longevity of humans, because it does so in many other animal species there is no study in humans that has proved that it will work. A few people have subjected themselves to a calorically restricted diet, which, in order to be effective, must approach levels that most people would find intolerable. The fact that so few people have attempted caloric restriction since the phenomenon was discovered more than 60 years ago suggests that for most people, quality of life seems to be preferred over quantity of life."

Caloric Restriction's Varied Effects:
-Later onset of age-related diseases (including cancer)
-Greater sensitivity to insulin
[the opposite (insulin insensitivity) is type II diabetes]
-Lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels
-Higher levels of "good" (HDL) cholesterol

1. rice and flour-based products have only been around since humans developed farming. this shows that we were not genetically engineered and optimized to eat these things. sure we can eat them and they can keep us alive but that does not mean we were designed to eat them. eating them could then lead to side effects.

2. after the u.s. government started recommending a high-carbohydrate diet, the citizens of the u.s. developed a higher obesity rate and type-two diabetes rate. more and more young-adults and teens are being diagnosed with type-two diabetes now.

3. eating a high-carbohydrate meal makes you hungrier. a lot of people have the situation where they are hungrier before lunch if they eat breakfast than if they fasted. this is the high-carbohydrate meal's effect on insulin in the blood stream.

conclusion: eat meats, fats, vegetables(minus potatoes) and fruits. eat anything else and suffer the consequences.

(potatoes by the way had their origin in south america so our ancestors did not develop with them either.)

What if It's All Been a Big Fat Lie?
(This is a link to the NY Times site which requires a free registration)

you think you have a sad story? look around. so does everyone else. suffering is part of life.

some points from the documentary
"Why Dogs Smile and Chimpanzees Cry" (1999)

for millions of years reptiles ruled the land. when the land suddenly started changing, it was the ability of the mammalian brain to adapt that made them win over the reptiles during those troubled times.

mammals learned from each other and lived in groups. the mammals possessed "motherly love" and took care of their young. baby reptiles are ignored by their mother and do not learn from them and only have basic survival emotion such as fear.

mammals must learn what is not pre-programmed in them. this is the key to their adaptation. this learning takes time and is why the more complex species take longer to develop into adulthood. they learn what to fear and how to behave. mothers punish to teach what is dangerous.

maternal love is addictive. it produces a good feeling. physical touch is vital in the healthy development of the young. holding, hugging, and playing are needed. play is essential for development and it practices future skills that will be needed.

the brain is like an onion. we have the ancient reptile brain at the core which gives us basic survival ability and fear. after that there is the more developed area which gives us motherhood and basic learning. the outer part of the brain is the area that allows for complex social learning.

in a study, it showed that sleep aids in learning. in the task they were required to perform, "Their performance progressively worsened throughout the day. If the researchers allowed individuals to nap for 30 minutes, however, the deterioration halted; a one-hour snooze enabled performance to bounce back to initial morning levels".

it also said that "functioning improved when given a new task that required a neural network different from the one used in the initial session." and that "the brain seems to prevent the absorption of new information in order to allow the data already there to be committed to memory during slumber. Apparently, the deep, slow-wave sleep that occurs in even short naps allows recently learned information to be processed and readies the mind for new knowledge."

also notable is that "These findings may also help answer other questions, such as why infants sleep so much. 'The intensity of learning new skills and information may drive the brain’s hunger for large amounts of sleep,'".

- You Snooze You Win
- Tetris Dreams

yes i do feel sorry for animals and even some humans when i see them in troubling situations. then i realize that pain and suffering and being killed or murdered or eaten is a part of the natural order of being alive on the planet earth. it has been happening since life began and it will continue to happen. i then accept it and move on. if i see you sad and upset it will affect me but then i'll accept your pain as the normal course of being a human.

if you are well informed about human suffering you'd cry yourself to sleep if you don't have this attitude of acceptance.

human society as it is now is crap and there is nothing you can do about it. that is a given. now all you can do is accept it and live out your life. by accepting it, you take the strain and worry away that you are somehow deficient and that you should be doing something to fix yourself or fix society. move on and just try and get through your life the best you can.

and speaking of provable things, i do think "human society as it is now is crap" is provable.

start with the premise that everything you know is wrong. now start believing the things that are provable.

some quick research on laughter-

laughing is built into us. human babies only a few months old laugh. also, the fact that every human can laugh and that laughing is easy to recognize due to its simple structure shows that it is built into us. there is also a condition of pathological laughter in which "damage to a wide variety of brain regions produces abnormal laughter".

by looking at our closest animal relatives we can see that our lineage had laughter from the start. one source states how "chimpanzees and other great apes perform a laugh-like vocalization when tickled or during play." it also states that "chimpanzee laughter occurs almost exclusively during physical contact, or during the threat of such contact, during chasing games, wrestling or tickling."

animals play. you can see their young engaging in chase games or wrestling or whatever else they do. how do you tell play fighting from real fighting? laughing may have come about to further show that play fighting is just play.

in humans though, it may have further developed to make and strengthen human connections. laughing seems to have a social function. "In the absence of stimulating media (television, radio or books), people are about 30 times more likely to laugh when they are in a social situation than when they are alone."

The Evolution of Laughter
How Laughter Works
Laughter

greetings humans. my project has ceased and i should be back. the excessive heat was problematic too but that should be over for now allegedly.

it is tuesday at midnight. i am working on a project which i will be done with soon. i will be back then. probably only another day. the project is unrelated to anything here. thank you for your patience. by the way, there are some very good things written in the archives to the right --> if you came here for something to read.

you people are retarded for complicating your life so much. stop worrying and start laughing. if i don't follow my own advice at times then i'm a retard too. get over yourself and all your petty problems. you're a sack of jelly held up by a structure of bone walking around on a hunk of rock that is hurtling through space around an enormous ball of fire. you don't want to be a part of a moronic society? then join the f'ing club. damn yo!

now guess what would happen if the world worked as it should... the way that you want it to. you'd still be a sack of jelly that walked around a hunk of rock that hurtles through space around a gigantic fire ball. you'd still wake up everyday and urinate and defecate and eat your breakfast. you'd still have freezing cold winter days and hot and humid summer nights. you'd still have your times of boredom and times of sadness. you'd still get angry. you'd still get your heart broken. this is what being human gets you. what do you think you are? you are not a friggin angelic creature... get over it. you were not meant for greatness of any sort. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN A CAT. it is not society or the world or anything like that that you should be angry at. it is being human that caused your predicament. you start human civilization from scratch and it will end up just like it is today. our evolution got us here.

if you want something better than what we've got then you have to suppress the natural instincts of all humans. this can be done but you'll need an awfully enlightened world population. just think how bad your ancestors had it and you'll see you are no worse off.

the problem is that you were taught to think you deserve something. you don't have anything coming to you beyond death. you were born to reproduce and then die. that's it. that is the grand scheme of it all. you were not meant to have a happy or even a pleasant existence. all that mattered is that you reproduce. you then die because your machinery only cares about keeping you alive long enough to reproduce. after that, you are on your own. that is why your body starts it's deterioration in your twenties. unfortunately you were told a fairy tale about what you should expect out of life. it wasn't true. the truth is reproduction and death. anything beyond that is a game of pretend.

just a note, if you don't have a sense of humor then develop one or else leave now and never return. i have learned to see the funny side of a lot of things and it is to my betterment and to the betterment of those around me. don't take things so seriously and chill out. you humans with no sense of humor ruin everyone's good time. you are the muther f'ers with the road rage, the f'ers that start conflicts and wars and fights in general. it has become obvious to me that a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence. animals and base humans have no sense of humor. the humans are not so intelligent will laugh now and again but it is at simple things and they will get very insulted and in fact very violent about things they don't find funny. think of it this way, the more you know, the more jokes you are in on and so the more you can laugh at. and in conclusion, stop taking things so seriously you retard.

i like movies where there is someone rebelling against "the system". i guess i must have some of that in me. although, i'm really not rebellious... it is just that this system is so retarded that i can't live by what it tells me. so basically i am rebelling by not engaging in it and not by actively going out to try and destroy it. but yes if it were in my power i would destroy it with such vengeance that not even a particle of dust would be found to prove its existence. (remember that punishing is ingrained in us. we like to punish.) but i still would rather live peacefully than as an active rebel.

one thing that would keep me from rebelling against the system is that who is there really to save? if everyone didn't like the system then couldn't we just collectively decide to change it? most people are satisfied enough that they don't give a hoot about changing anything. as the declaration of independence states "all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed." things are just not bad enough for the masses to inspire them to change anything. sure they are bad enough for me but i can't do anything against something backed by so much corruption and military might. and for all my troubles, the masses wouldn't even appreciate it if i did change anything.

because a handful of people have no place in this society, the whole thing should be changed? yes the society may be headed towards disaster but is that any reason to change it? every society before us has crumbled to dust eventually so why should ours be any different? pity on me and you for being enlightened enough to see that our society is moronic but so what? so what if humans rape the planet until they kill themselves off. every other species would do the same thing. every species will grow and grow and eat itself into extinction if it is given the chance without any checks and balances. so what if you and i can see this is a retarded way to live. this is evolution at work. we have a mutation that allows us to see more than others can see. this certainly is not benefitting us personally and seems to work against us. either we will be what postpones humanity's eventual extinction or they'll go extinct a few years earlier... either way so what? the earth will die off when the sun explodes anyway or maybe when an asteroid hits us.

"the system" is just an illusionary smoke and mirror show. you can't fight something like that. it is full of imagination and pure belief without real reasoning and proof. you can't rationally argue with an irrational person. you can't mix reality with fantasy and expect anything logical to come out of it.

as an aside, i don't think people use the word "retarded" enough in casual conversation so i think i will try and revive it. it probably is not used any more due to its seemingly insulting nature towards the mentally challenged. my usage is in no way meant to insult them though... it is just a good word to use.

i am also sick of seeing people relive the same stupid life over and over. read a book or open you eyes because the same stupid things you are doing have already been done before so go find something else to do.

my cat growls, scratches, or bites me when i give it too much attention. when you dote all over a human and give them too much attention they will crap all over you and use you as their toilet. being too free with your time and attention does not make mammals care about you more. it will make them annoyed with you.

sup. i was just reading some web logs. i don't think you people should "grow up" either. "growing up" in this sense means shackling yourself to money and being its slave for the rest of your life. it does terrible things to people. not that people aren't terrible to begin with but it does tend to bring out the worst.

i can't have many words of wisdom for this horrible situation because it is like you are drowning in the middle of an ocean and there are plenty of people who have boats but they will only save you for a price. sure you can try to swim but all the shores are owned and people will not let you swim to them. it isn't a hopeful situation. i guess the only real hope is to be rescued by aliens from up above but that is only wishful thinking.

the only real thing you can do is to accept your fate as a human in this society and get along the best you can. you can try and fight it but you will give in one day so why live with all the stress? just accept it now.

i heard that smiling is related to fear and submissiveness. the facial expressions for fear and smiling are somewhat similar. by showing a smile you are showing a submissiveness to someone so that they don't attack you. you are showing that you fear them. that is one theory of smiling anyway.

another asteroid came close to earth again. it came in closer than the distance to the moon. that is still a lot of space so it's not like it was that close of a call. scientists didn't see the asteroid until about 3 days after it past by. it was not big enough to cause a global catastrophe but it would have caused a nice big localized one if it hit a populated area.

the interlude...

hmm so what to write.... well since you always have to consider the source of the information you get, i will inform you a bit about myself.

i have a skill of putting people down and insulting them. unfortunately this does not work well with being a kind and enlightened being so i have to actively suppress this ability. i used to feel a little bad about not being able to showcase this ability in the past but i have gotten over that. i had to get over the vanity of showcasing a talent. i will still do it on occasion but it is rarer and rarer.

and as far as being enlightened and what not, i won't feel totally enlightened until i conquer sadness. do i feel a little enlightened? yes but not completely there. why is sadness so hard to conquer? because it shuts you down. anger revs you up and is easy to recognize. and since you are revved up in order to carry out your angry deeds you can redirect that energy into suppressing the anger. sadness on the other hand takes away your energy so you have nothing to fight it with. i'll probably talk more about this later though.

i always rejected being a "nerd" and did not befriend those that were. even though no one else thought i was a "cool" kid, i thought i was. i guess i am somewhere in between. i did not enjoy doing school work like the "nerds" did but i performed a lot better academically than the "cool" kids. i didn't like either group and thus had a lack of friends. the nerds and cool kids had more similarities to each other than i had to either of them. the nerds acted just like the cool kids with their social groups and parties and chatter. the only difference was the nerds were uglier and were in advanced classes.

i know it must not come across, but you have to realize that i am a semi-funny person. you won't see it all the time, but i am amusing myself with a lot of the things i write. i don't take things too seriously and so you shouldn't read it as such. i grew up watching lots of sitcoms, cartoons, comedy shows, funny movies, etc. just so you know. and i do make people laugh on a regular basis.

i am sort of amused by people upset by not having grown up with their dad around. i grew up with my father around and i hated it. father's are one of the worst inventions ever made. it is worse in modern times because families are isolated. this gives fathers despotic rule over their family. sure, some of you grew up with great fathers but i can guarantee that you are a minority. what i hated the most about my particular father was that he treated everyone else's children so nicely and then treated me like crap. shouldn't you be nicest to your own family? what was up with that? i know that may not be a common thing but it was the case in my family. oh and i hate when people grow up with terrible fathers and then forgive them like nothing happened. my sister did this and i find it irritating. he treated her horribly but now it's like nothing ever happened. i think forgiveness is fine but not without reparations. he has done nothing to earn the forgiveness. my mother grew up without a dad and i tell her that she is lucky and should be thankful because her life would have only been worse. absolute power corrupts absolutely... and that's what fathers are given is absolute power over their family.

you people should realize that you are living above averagely. most people in the united states and the world are living in far lower conditions than you. they aren't sitting all cozy in front of a computer screen.

i'm a human just like you. i have probably been more isolated than you and so i had more time to think and go a new path. in evolution, a new species begins to develop when part of an old species becomes isolated and starts to evolve down its own path.

carbon monoxide poisoning is the best way to leave the realm of the conscious. a canister of pure stuff i mean. you do turn a bit of pink from it just so you know.

i did participate in a youth hockey league as a child for a few years. and in the first couple years of high school i played lacrosse. i don't watch sporting events on tv. they are so boring that i would rather sit and stare at a wall. i don't have respect for people who do watch them because i think they are just trying to fit in and be like everyone else. i know they are not really entertaining because that is why people need to drink heavily when attending a live event. and gambling is the other thing people do to keep it entertaining. the only sporting event i may watch is one where the opposite sex is nicely displayed in form fitting attire.

i like cats. this is most likely because i grew up with them.

both my parents have smoked cigarettes my entire life. i have an older brother that likes to ride around on his harley davidson motorcycle. he has tatoos and attends rallies too. i have two older sisters that try to fit into society. they wear a lot of make-up and try and dress stylish and live the usual american lifestyle. the oldest though, does not want to have children. she is married and the other is engaged. i don't really talk to any of them and never really have. the two older ones were 12(brother) and 13(sister) when i was born and the other one was 4(other sister). i am obviously the youngest. my father is from canada and did not graduate high school. he moved down to the states, worked a while, then started his own business. my mother grew up in the town i grew up in. she graduated high school and then went to business school. it was more like secretary school though and was only a year long. my oldest sister graduated high school, took some college, then went to work in the corporate world as something or other. my brother graduated high school and then went to work for my father. only recently did he stop working for my father. my other sister went to college and i went to college. the two older siblings are from my father's first marriage but she died. that is why they are so much older than my sister and i.

i have cousins that murdered, committed suicide, died accidental deaths, are drug addicts, and are alcoholics. i knew most of them but not too well. a couple of them lived with us for a while but it never affected me. nah, sharing a bedroom with a guy who killed his father with an axe as he slept wouldn't affect you would it? his father was abusive by the way and he only served time in a mental hospital. he ended up killing himself though after his sister killed herself.

yeah so that's my family.

there is more detail but i'll leave you with the basics for now. i once told the more detailed story to someone and they would not believe that so many bad things would happen to one family. my response to that is that you people live above averagely and don't know what is going on in the lesser parts of your country and the world. my father may have gotten us up to an upper middle class lifestyle but we came from the common folk. my brother, who lives the working class lifestyle, has a lot more problems than the rest of us and his kids are really starting to show it.

well goodnight sweet people of internet land. i am off to bed now. let me leave you with some uplifting thoughts though. umm... uhh... hmm....

seriously folks, remember that you can either live your life in a pit of despair or in a field of sunshine... why choose the pit when the sunny field is just as attainable? all you need is the right perspective and a bit of understanding.

we will return to our regularly scheduled programming following this brief (or possibly not so brief) interlude.

i need to change things up for a while. it's not like more than a handful of people read this anyway but for them i do have a semi-responsibility to keep a steady flow of fresh content. it may be of less interest but what can i tell ya. when i am back in the mood i will write more about being human from a more distant perspective but for now i will be a bit more self-involved.

5 haiku:

do what i tell you
ignore when i wrong the right
mirror what i do

burn the trees away
no oxygen left to breathe
monoxide only

through evolution
you exterminated peace
war alone survives

you molest the pure
you kill off the innocent
hatred you adore

flames of destruction
a glorious victory
spoils of despair

more excerpts...

human evolution, like that of other organisms, is not a gradual transformation of form and behavior over time. Rather, like the shifts in the environments in which organisms find themselves, evolutionary change is abrupt, even catastrophic.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=
0004C78E-D2FB-1D07-8E49809EC588EEDF&pageNumber=1&catID=2

the earth's climate does great flip-flops every few thousand years, and with breathtaking speed. In just a few years, the climate suddenly cools worldwide. With only half the rainfall, severe dust storms whirl across vast areas. Lightning strikes ignite giant forest fires. For most mammals, including our ancestors, populations crash.

Our ancestors lived through hundreds of such abrupt episodes since the more gradual Ice Ages began two and a half million years ago--but abrupt cooling produced a population bottleneck each time, one that eliminated most of their relatives. We are the improbable descendants of those who survived--and later thrived. William H. Calvin's marvelous A Brain for All Seasons argues that such cycles of cool, crash, and burn powered the pump for the enormous increase in brain size and complexity in human beings. Driven by the imperative to adapt within a generation to "whiplash" climate changes where only grass did well for a while, our ancestors learned to cooperate and innovate in hunting large grazing animals.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0226092011/ref=
ase_scientificameric/104-3176739-9199161

damn... people are some ignant mutha f'ers... they love not to know...

i was reading scientific american online and here is an exerpt...

Facing such a reality, perhaps we should not be surprised at the results of a 2001 Gallup poll confirming that 45 percent of Americans believe "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so"; 37 percent prefer a blended belief that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God guided this process"; and a paltry 12 percent accept the standard scientific theory that "human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God had no part in this process."

In a forced binary choice between the "theory of creationism" and the "theory of evolution," 57 percent chose creationism against only 33 percent for evolution (10 percent said that they were "unsure"). One explanation for these findings can be seen in additional results showing that just 34 percent considered themselves to be "very informed" about evolution.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=
0007DE34-B74D-1D07-8E49809EC588EEDF&catID=2

gluttony leads to laziness. if you stuff your face then you will not be at your best. when you stuff yourself you need to rest. if you are stuffed all the time then you will rest more. your mind and body will go into lazy-mode.

there used to be a lot of starvation in human populations. those that could survive periods of famine went on to breed and create the next generation. the special ability that they had to survive famine was their gluttonous behavior and their ability to get fat. if there was food available they would eat it and keep on eating it until there was none and eating so much food made them fat. when a period of famine arrived, the fat ones were able to last until food was plentiful again while the skinny or non-gluttonous ones died off.

after eating a big meal, you need rest because digestion needs to take place. the more food, the longer the digestion period obviously. you'll get cramps if you try and exert yourself too soon after eating because your blood flow has shifted more to your digestive system for it to do its work. so obviously, the more you stuff yourself, the more you will need to rest. you will feel lazy in both mind and body.

in order to avoid gluttony induced laziness you need to eat smaller meals which are broken up throughout the day so that you are not eating so much at a single meal and you can't stuff yourself at any of them.

i think that i am at the point where i found out what being a human is all about to the point where there is no mystery left. love, hate, patriotism, honor, etc. are things i can't really feel anymore because i know their origin and their implications. i do still laugh though. i really don't recommend learning all about humans and the world you live in if you want to really live your life and get a lot out of it. everything will become meaningless to you. it is hard to take human concepts seriously when you know it is just a made-up fantasy. it is hard to play by society's rules when you think the rules are a joke. everything is just silliness now. learning all about humans and the world you live in would not be feasible until you are surrounded by others learning the same thing. you will be lost in a world in which you do not fit otherwise. i have out grown this place and it is now time for my mothership to beam me up. but until that happens i'll be chillin. so 'sup y'all.

i am sick of seeing beautiful members of the opposite sex. they are a distraction and at times a safety hazard. i am also sick of people trying to look their best. can't you get beyond the excessive vanity of things like eyebrow waxing and finger/toe nail manicuring and wearing makeup? does every little thing really have to be perfect? don't you even want to find a mate based on something besides looks? shouldn't you even be going out of your way to dress down so that a potential mate likes you for who you are and not what you look like? do you really enjoy working long hours in order to support your consumption of beauty supplies and services? do you really enjoy using a significant portion of the day primping yourself and worrying how good you look? do you really like basing so much self-worth on how you look? god forbid you get into an accident and loose an eyebrow... you'd have to commit suicide since you could not live with the horror of having only one eyebrow. for goodness sakes shake some sense into yourself and do yourself some good and get over yourself and how you look.

being human:

waking
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
urinating
eating
performing activities and/or
communicating with others
sleeping

rinse and repeat... day after day after day after day etc.

you people are so self-obsessed it's ridiculous. and for the love of whatever you believe in, stop being so damn serious. you are an organism dressed up in plant fibers walking around gibber-jabbering about complete nonsense.

you'd think you mattered more to the universe than the speck of spooge that you are with all that "serious" talk that comes out of your mouth.

how serious can you take yourself knowing that "talking" is just vibrations coming out of your digestive tract opening and that fecal matter comes out the opposite end?

you're not the crazy one. you live in a society built on strange and imaginary ideas. there is nothing you can do to change it though. you can either start a new society (which is harder today because all free land has been taken by the governments of the world and their actions would affect you anyway) or you can accept what you're given and try to manipulate it enough to your liking so that you can get along or you can not accept it and try to fight it and die frustrated and alone. i'd go for the option of accepting it and trying to make what you have work because it is the simplest and makes the most sense. why make things harder than they need to be?

you will be dead soon enough so why not just smile the rest of the days you have left? you can't take the pain, sorrow, and worry with you when you die so get rid of it as it comes in... why hold on to it? sure you can worry yourself to death over anything but just accept things and move on and you can go through each day with a better feeling than misery.

11/17/99

inner pain will be dealt with as a fleeting entity with no purposeful role.
its reason for being will be of no consequence as it may not be a rational reason.
a pursual of its reason will be considered futile as it may not truly exist.
dealing with the inner pain will be carried out with either meditation or distraction.
distraction would be considered a task consisting of an enjoyable hobby.
above all, inner pain shall not be spread to others and will be dealt with internally until its initial emotion full stage has passed and it can be dealt with on a logical level.

silence will be a sufficient indicator of its presence and will be noted by any bystanders.

bystanders will then back away and also engage in either meditation or a distraction.
the injured party will then contact the bystander when a dialogue can begin concerning any real and actual problems the injured party may have.
most importantly, the bystander and injured party will maintain a close proximity during the post injury, pre-discussion period.

the following may be said to the silent person during their moment of pain:
"please remeber that the pain that you are feeling is a fleeting thing and that it may not even be based on anything that is real. I say this to you in love and caring because i cherish you and i value you and your happiness. if you need to talk i am here for you."

the problem with finding friends or mates is that it is too late to dismiss them as incompatible because by the time you find out, you are too deeply involved. a way to get to know them before investing so much into them would be a better way. perhaps we should carry around a summary of ourselves and hand it to people at first contact.

12/27/2000

It all began as it always does. I was alone. I always am. my mind wandered as it always does. Where was it going tonight? I don't know the answer and i never do. someplace new and exciting as it sometimes does or to someplace isolated and full of sadness as it more often does. like a roller coaster i ride the ups and downs and twists and turns, my stomache churning all the same.

i once saw, on tv, a professor that handed out horoscopes to his class. the class was to read them and say if the horoscopes fit them or not. the horoscopes fit them, and it turned out that everyone was reading the exact same horoscope. people ignored the things that didn't quite fit and focused on the generalities that are true about everyone. by doing this, the horoscopes fit.

you will also do this when it comes to "intuition". you will worry every time that your son goes out driving at night in his car but the one night that he does get into an accident you will use that as the proof that your intuition about him was correct. what about every other time that you were wrong and he did not get into an accident? you suddenly ignore that and focus in on the one time that your "intuition" about him getting into an accident was correct.

you have the bad feelings all the time so when it happens once you use that as the justification but ignore all those times you had bad feelings but nothing happened. you don't have a special intuition if you are wrong 99% of the time. also, some things are so obvious that of course you could see them coming.

get rid of the magic and replace it with sound logic and reason and you will be correct more of the time than if you rely on horoscopes and intuition.

way long ago, at age 14, people would have been considered adults. females would have been married off and males would be part of the hunting party. they both would have been independent of their parents. perhaps "teenage rebellion" then, is due to the confinement of these young people at an age where they were biologically meant to be free? teenage rebellion is not against one's peers but against one's parents. some would say it is against society as well but that would be because society seeks to confine them as much as parents do. in a society where they were not confined into being treated like children, they would not rebel.

this rebellion makes evolutionary sense because it would create a desire to start a new life away from one's parents and to find a mate and have children. if a human were to be treated as a child and accepted it then that human would never find a mate and produce offspring. the humans that rebelled against being kept as a "child" left their house and started a new life with a mate and had children.

teenage rebellion is mostly about expressing one's desire to be a "grown-up". in ancient times, this rebellion would manifest itself by the teen moving out and starting a family. the teens that moved out had more children while the teens that did not rebel stayed at home and didn't start a family. if a culture does not confine teenagers then this rebellion probably does not occur.

in our modern times where a human requires a higher education than that of our ancestors, letting teenagers loose on society would not work. we keep them locked up for a reason but perhaps a less confining way is more appropriate to lessen their rebellious desires.

doing sexual things to satisfy your sexual cravings does not work. doing sexual things will promote more sexuality thus producing more cravings. it is not better to "do it" in order to release the desire. the desire will not be released and will in fact only get stronger. the only way to satisfy sexual cravings is by utilizing non-sexual means. you have to practice not being sexual as well as utilizing distraction or avoidance methods.

summation of a 1996 ABC news special entitled "The Mystery of Happiness: Who has it and How to get it".

In it, it says these are important aspects of happiness: control (being able to control your life and control things in your life), optimism (expecting the best to happen and that things will be okay), belief in god (the sense of purpose and commitment). Also, inactivity is bad, happiness occurs when we engage ourselves in a meaningful activity that challenges and engages our skills. An activity or job that challenges you and makes you feel well used. Happiness occurs when you actively do things and not sit around. The biggest determinant is whether you have close relationships. Close supportive connective relationships make for happiness.

Something else that was said that I've heard before... if you fake being happy, it will actually make you happier. The easiest thing to do, and I have actually done this, is to just force yourself to smile, and by activating those same smiling muscles, it mimics the effects of an actual smile and can make you feel better.

it would be nice to live in a peaceful world where everyone is valued and everyone is "happy" and everyone has a rich and fulfilling life. sound nice? to some people this is not so nice.

a lot of people are benefitting because everyone is not valued and because not everyone is happy and because not everyone has a rich and fulfilling life. you folks reading this on that computer of yours, can no doubt assume your computer has parts in it assembled by people who will never own a computer. most of your possessions, food items, homes and buildings, and sanitation can be traced back to people who lead a lifestyle that you would find not as comfortable as your own. you are directly benefitting from other people not being as valued as others. and chances are that someone else is even benefitting from you not being as valued as they are.

don't make the mistake of assuming that those people living a "lower" lifestyle are there because they are inferior. they have to start life out in a home that does not value education and one that puts them to work as soon as possible. their surroundings are tough and unsupportive. if you grew up in the same conditions you would turn out the same as they did and vice versa. they do not get the same opportunities you do. you can't expect them to just "get an education". and society itself does not want them to be highly educated or else no one would do menial tasks. if you were highly educated, would you rather use that education to make $70,000 a year as an attorney in this society or use the education to make $6.50 an hour pumping human waste out of a septic tank? if we wanted everyone to be highly educated then why aren't we pumping resources into doing this? do you really think people would choose a lesser lifestyle if they were truly given the opportunity to choose which life they could lead? obviously these people are not given a real opportunity.

the entire reason that we exist today is because of our hormones making us dopey enough to fall for people so easily and completely. the people who were not so controllable did not mate and left no offspring to carry on their "uncontrollable" genes. yes you can train yourself to not be so controllable but it takes practice and realization that your hormones play such a significant role in your thinking.

school shooters are just regular kids pushed to the limit. take any animal and threateningly back it into a corner and it will attack. we all have that potential. given the same set of circumstances we all act pretty much the same. give an immature, frightened, and hateful person a gun and you can bet that the trigger will get pulled eventually.

as humans, we are born to kill but this doesn't mean we have to. unfortunately for those that want to live "killing-free", our society still fosters a high tension atmosphere that breeds killers. you can't look at the killers and think "look at those bad people, i'd never do anything like that. they are abnormal because they kill. what went wrong with them?". it was your society that failed. you are the problem, not the killer. what did you, the educated member of this society, do to foster a non-killing atmosphere in your society. also, you may have done the same thing given the exact same circumstances. humans are born to be human, which means they will kill like any animal when pushed to it. it is up to society to train humans to behave how they want them to behave. if you want humans not to kill then you have to train them and it is societies fault when people go untrained. society is creating volatile situations by not adequately training people as well as fostering a hostile atmosphere that makes even semi-trained people revert back to their animal instincts.

i don't play many "video games". i don't own any of those fancy new console game stations. any games i do play are for the computer. the ones i gravitate towards are helicopter simulations (ones with missiles and radars and such) and strategy ones where you end up ruling the world by the end. in the strategy ones, i like the feeling of power i get when i rise up from being picked on by the other nations in the beginning. by the end, i have developed large and technologically advanced armies and i severely crush my enemies into non-existence by utilizing the might of those armies. i leave a wake of utter devastation and destruction to teach those pitiful nations what it means to toy with me. my blood lust is satiated only when i am advised that the nation has been wiped out. but this lasts only for a moment as my next thoughts are to conquer all who remain. even those that did me no wrong are no longer safe. i developed the taste for blood and i must have more until i am the supreme ruler of them all. and so on with my campaign until i am the ultimate ruler of the world.

do you see what is going on there? do you see how easy it is for humans to have the feelings of an evil tyrant hell bent on world domination? i know some of you never experienced these feelings but for males i can almost guarantee that they are in you. they may lie dormant for now but they would surface if given the opportunity. yes they can be suppressed but they still exist inside of you. but that is only a game you say? you play it and see if you don't feel the emotion build up inside of you. that emotion is a sign that your blood lust is real. all ancient literature talks about entire cites being massacred as a matter of course. the bible talks about it, ancient greek literature talks about it, etc. it was common to destroy entire bloodlines and cities and peoples so that their existence would be wiped from the face of the planet. people like to dole out punishment.

so you want to know about being a human being? do you want me to sum it up in one word? the word is... "evolution". it is why we are here and it is why we think and act the way we do. "evolution" is your starting point for learning about yourself and your species and every other species for that matter.

yes i know people don't like "advice" or to be told how to live their lives. i'd gladly do it more often if they did enjoy a bit of advice now and again. i mean, yes you can advise people but you can't be blunt about it. usually the best way is to make it about you and not them. tell them about a similar problem that you had and how you resolved it. they don't appreciate "you did this wrong and you did that wrong so now do it like how i'm telling you to do it". they more so appreciate "yeah i knew this person and we had a conflict and this is how we resolved it". not only are you advising them but you are also sharing a bond of similar experience as well as showing them that they are not alone in having that experience.

okay i feel a little obliged to mention that there are handful of canadians reading this. now don't get me wrong, i have a father that was born and raised in canada so i'm down with that.

what is funny to me though is that most if not all of them are from prince edward island. "pei" as it is commonly referred to. it is funny to me because my friend's favorite books of all time are the anne of green gables series by L.M. Montgomery who of course wrote about the fictional tales of anne's and other's lives in pei. and to add to that, she recently had a professor that was from pei who told the class a true story about a dog that waited at a railroad station for someone at war to come home and then ran away when that person died in the war. or something like that. and the story was even mentioned in one of the L.M. Montgomery books. my friend immediately recognized the story from one of the books when the professor told it.

so there you go. that is my little link to pei.

umm here is one from the ancient files of MyHardDrivia... because i need to go to bed now. oh umm wait, no it's because it is a special piece just for you... yeah that's it...

written way back on 8/2/96... just a slice of life... and remember this was written almost 6 years ago...

All right...you know what it's all about? Why people should think twice about "fooling around" with other people that they don't intend on spending most of their lives with? Its all about being faithful and loyal to your eventual love mate (husband, wife, etc.) Faithful to someone you don't even know exists you say? Well I think most people have the idea that they will eventually get into a permanent relationship with another person. So in a sense, it's a given that you'll eventually end up in a long term relationship. This then, means that since you will eventually end up with that person who is to become your love mate, that you are basically linked with them early on even before you meet because the union will eventually happen. There is another part to it too. It deals with the golden rule of "nothing is for free". So what if you do decide to continually "fool around" with other people? First off, the obvious, is diseases which are things that never leave your system but are in kept in there pretty much for life. These are mono, genital herpes, aids, etc. Not only will the symptoms get you but the mental strain you get from the thought of having them and what you did to yourself. And even if you scrape by and don't get a disease there is another aspect. And that deals with keeping things fresh and special for the one person you do eventually end up with. Will it hamper the bond that is to made? Don't unique experiences with someone bring about a special bond? Even making out with someone has its toll. I have heard interviews with hookers and porn stars who don't kiss during their work because they consider kissing too personal and only do it with people they are in relationships with. I even read in a book how kissing was more of an intimate thing than intercourse because kissing was a mental thing with no direct sexual release like intercourse which is more of an animal thing. That kissing is very personal and intimate shows that it should not be done frivolously just as sex should not be done frivolously. Nothing is without its price.

sad people should not be friends with one another. you will wallow in each other's sadness. if you were a real friend you would make the extra effort to lift your friend out from their pit of despair. take all that energy you're putting into being sad with them and use it to help. and the other person should be a real friend and accept the hand up. help one another and stop being so self involved.

the easiest way to help is to be an example... don't be sad. and when talking to them you don't have to go over every pitiful detail of why they are sad. talking about it will make them and you sadder. get the main idea if you want and then release it. forget about it. it's gone. and don't stuff it under a rug... accept that it happened and forget about it.

sadness is like a drug. you'll get addicted to the strong pain and emotion it brings. it's almost exciting. it surges through you and you can feel it. use your friends as a distraction from it, not as a way to stimulate it. don't be so self-centered and manipulative. think about how your sadness will make them sad. don't use them to get sympathy and attention either. oh i know your tricks. you hurt those around you to get what you want.

i will say it again... sadness is for the self-centered and the self-important. try caring about someone else for a change and you'll see that you like that feeling even better.

i was just told a story about a man and a woman. they are a "couple". and what is so amusing is a truth about men and women and their interactions. it seems to be that men do things for women and say things to them which are totally misinterpreted by the women as sweet and nice. the men are purely manipulative and have ulterior motives but the women see these things as sweet and wonderful. it is funny to think about how men and women are on two completely different tracks but sometimes, due to luck, the tracks cross. if not for misinterpretations, we would never be together. but you can imagine what would happen if women saw through all this... there would be no more mating. so you see, the women who could see through all this died off with no offspring to carry on their genes.

me me me it's all about meeee. don't you get it? even though it's not directly about me, it really is still about me. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. memememememememe me. did someone say "center of the universe"? over here!! it is meeeee. what does the world revolve around? memememememe meeeeeeeeee!! oh well, i am off to have another thought about how self important i am. don't you just love when it's about me? i know i love it. meee glorious meeeee. how come more people aren't writing about me? this is a sad fact that people must rectify. if only they knew more about me they would surely include me in most every thought they had. i really do feel a bit of pity for them... weep. sniffle. if only they knew me....

don't deal with anger by trying to "let it all out" and expressing it. it will just stay longer and create more. release the anger by letting go of it. take a step back and realize its futility and the harm that it is causing you. it feels bad and it is bad. release it and let it go. deeeeep breathe. and agaaaiiin.

you'll get angry at times but don't stay angry. you'll get over it eventually right? well just decide to save yourself the pain and get over it immediately.

come in. take a seat. i have something to say to you. no no sit down this won't take long. now i know you think i've been a bit hard on you lately. well okay a "lot" hard on you. but you have to realize that it is because i care about you. you are special and you mean a lot to me. look i know we have had our rough times together but i have realized something. i realized that you and me... we're inseparable. we belong together. it just wouldn't work for each of us to go our own separate ways. and those rough spots even show that things get better eventually. they are jagged with not only their low valleys but also with their high peaks. we just need to smooth it out a little so that our lows aren't so low. our highs won't be as high but that will be less of a peak to fall from. so look, we can do this... you and me. come on, we can at least give it a try. you think about it and i think you'll see where i'm coming from. okay you can leave now but remember that i care about you and i want you to think about this. lets do this. lets be for each other what we couldn't be before. and lets be friends.

do not try to live everything for yourself. that is what history is for. use it. you will not get anywhere by starting from scratch. learn from other's mistakes and build on top of that foundation.

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this one's for the little people.

justice. you mutha f'ers wouldn't know it if it was the central theme of a mel gibson movie. sure it's some made-up fairy tale but stranger things have been dreamed-up by the mind of man and come to life. your blood soaked flesh searing at the touch of the flaming sword that unstrings you, the scales of justice crashing upon your deceitful skull filled with the rotting mass of putrefying gray matter, your dark heart torn out of your chest with a single grab... what is so fanciful about that? to dream it, is to plant the seed and you water that seed with every transgression you enact against the innocent. and sprout it will, until you are engulfed by the roots and your acts of injustice are suffocated with your last breath.
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ahem. now that i have that out. you should realize that as humans we love to punish. it is innate in us and we love to dole it out. we like to hurt the bad for doing wrong to the good. the dilemma in that though, is who is to say who is "good" and who is "bad" and what "wrong" even is. and god forbid we wrongly punish the innocent. should we then not be struck down by the hand of justice ourselves?

does a trial, run by those with their own agendas, justify the conviction of the innocent? who is to make sure the trial is fair? an appeals court? should the trial be on trial? and should that trial be on trial? by the time the trials end, the innocent one died in a lonely prison cell of old age. the legal system is a mockery of what we are taught justice is. yeah and let's throw people in a locked pit and have them fight it out for years and then let them loose on the crowd. yeah prison works. isn't that a sign that we are just too big, that all our public policies are thoroughly inept and unmanageable? when you have something so unwieldy what do you do to tackle it? you break it down into bite-sized chunks and handle those.

i'm ashamed of you humans right now. i think you should go sit over there and think about what you've done. do you hear me? NOW mister.

i have seen members of the opposite sex and at first sight i have thought "i know this person can understand me and we would fit so perfectly together and the beauty of this person is overwhelming. if only i could talk to this person we would unite in a bond of love. and it is a real love that will last forever."

then i slap myself back to reality and say "you moron, that is a 100,000 years of human evolution driving you to be attracted to this person on top of millions of years of pre-human evolution before that. you have no idea what you have in common with this person beyond the whole air-breathing, food eating, bi-pedal-upright-walking thing. as far as you know, this person may eat kittens for breakfast and kill ducklings for sport but you think just because this person's appearance sets off a primordial spark within yourself that you are magically joined? you stupid f' get a grip on yourself. you were born an animal but that doesn't mean you have to act the part. damn your instincts for beauty because they will always set your heart aflame when it crosses your path. it is up to you to restrain this instinct because it will mislead you always." and then i go back to being me again.

you should realize no matter what relationship you are in or aren't in, you will get these feelings of attraction and desire. realize that they are part of being a human. you shouldn't really feel disgusted with yourself for having them because they are as natural as breathing. you can only restrain them once they arrive. when you can feel disgusted with yourself is when you believe these feelings and fall for their lies.

we are conceited because those ancestors that were conceited looked better by tending to their appearance all the time and hence mated more.

by using google.co.uk someone arrived at this site by using the search words:
'shaving trimming patterns "pubic hair"'

it is the number one entry of thirty-eight.
Here it is.

sometimes i think i'm done. i think "what else is left? nothing." i never grew up having a lot of goals. i've done what i wanted to do and now i'm just coasting through without any goal to head towards. i wonder if male humans really do need to battle and kill and rule mighty kingdoms to feel fulfilled. do male humans require excitement in their lives? is that an adaptation of being human? nah. it is just hard to do anything without set goals.

try walking to no place in particular and you will get bored. then try walking in order to reach the apex of a hill. you will feel motivated to reach that apex but you will feel no motivation to walk to nowhere in particular. it is so much easier to do things when you have a goal to meet. if you say "i'll finish this paper by the time class starts tomorrow" you will rush and try your darndest. try and write that paper long before it's due without setting a goal and you'll take a lot longer to write it. you need goals or else things just get put off.

so what goals should you be setting for yourself in your own life? it is hard for some of us to have the self discipline to follow the goals we set for ourselves. many of us will get frustrated and say "forget it, it didn't matter anyway." or "well i can always do it later". we really should be taught as children about setting and sticking to goals. but what goals should we be setting anyway? well that is something for us all to think about tonight.

i was looking at a poll on a web site that is read mainly by "geeks". the poll was "I wish I was better at..." and the top response was "romance" said by over 7000 people. at a close second was computer "programming".

The sun is setting and leaves are falling to the ground. Rose is outside sitting indian-style on fallen leaves. A shout comes from inside the house from her husband. "Rose!" he shouts, "I can't find some important files-- our statements of net worth!" She turns around to look his way and shouts back "Look in the shoe box wrapped in gold ribbon under the bed!" Looking through the contents of the shoe box he retrieved from under the bed, Rose's husband says to himself, "These aren't statements of net worth, these are our old..." And in quiet realization he finishes his statement with "...love letters." Sitting outside with his arms wrapped around her, Rose asks, "Find what you needed?" "Your directions were perfect!" he replied as he was embracing her.

--my summation of the comic strip Rose is Rose of 9/22/96.

in honor of my system coming back online, i will post something from the ancient archives that were stored on the hard drive that survived. here is a short inspirational piece written way back on August 2, 1996.

Man, as far as his physical strength and the value of that strength goes, is quite pitiful. Can man's strength enable him to travel the great speeds of the cheetah? Does man's physical strength give him the quickness of the rattle snake? Can man hunt with just his speed and his teeth as does the mighty tiger? Unlike most animals, can man dig a burrow or hole without the use of tools? Unlike the great grizzely bear, can man smash apart its cub into remnants of limbs with a single blow? Can he fish the water such as the polar or brown bear does without the use of tools? Can he topple trees with a single push like that of the elephant? Can man carry many times his own weight as the ant does? Man, unlike the rest, must use tools in order to accomplish what these animals can do naturally. It is pitiful and very disturbing to see, on an actual videotape, a man being trampled by an out of control elephant. The man's body is kicked around like it was a mere rag doll. It gave no resistance to the strength of the elephant. It just flopped around as if it were weightless. It just shows how weak man really is. So if man is so physically pitiful, how did he become the master of all these physically superior animals? Man can think. So were is true power? Power lies in one's ability to think. With his powerful mind, man can move his body many times faster than the cheetah with the aid of his inventions. With his manufactured weapons, man can hunt all animals. With his machines, man can dig the deepest and biggest holes and clear entire forrests and build the biggest homes. The bird, with its physical body sores high into the sky. Man, through using his mind, flies through SPACE! The mind of man is his might.

For those of you who will say that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain here is your answer.

i can sit and make myself get angry until i feel it surging through my system. i can feel the adrenaline flow. i can feel my heart beat faster. i can also sit and meditate until my heart rate lowers. i can stop tears by catching myself in the moment and then smile over how silly i am. i can feel so depressed to the point of physical pain in the chest that i want to put a plastic bag around my head with a rubber band around where it would cover my neck and in the next minute catch myself thinking about these things and laugh at myself from the outside looking in.

the point of all this is of course that you can heavily influence your body. i would be willing to put up large sums of money that i could cause a "chemical imbalance" in my brain by making myself depressed. and i will also bet that i can come out of it so that an "imbalance" no longer exists. just as you can psych up yourself before an athletic event and get your heart rate up and adrenaline pumping, you can also cause a chemical imbalance in your brain by thinking depressing thoughts. if you can stop those thoughts you will stop that imbalance.